Forbidden.

You must not eat from the tree in the centre of the garden, or certainly, you will die. Will the serpent influence you? Will you succumb? You know this is surely wrong, but the urge is too strong.

You succumb to this wrong, the urge, it was too strong, and now you lie naked and exposed; conscious.

Dear Adam,

Some things are forbidden, you know this to be true. Why then must thou eat from the centre of the garden? Surely, you understood this truth. Now you lie covered, awaiting retribution.

You knew this to be wrong, the same as you also know seeking her to be wrong. Her purity, a magnetic pull to drink at the river’s edge.

Contain yourself, for you wish not to live untrue. Do not drink from this river as you will surely live untrue. This ripe fruit is forbidden. They say history repeats itself- do not follow through.

Kind regards,

Adam.

Mindset matters.

The thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that you possess toward a task, objective or goal subconsciously influence the outcome of that event.

If you begin a task with the mindset that you will not succeed or that you are not good enough, these thoughts will influence the degree of effort you apply, and the level of pain and suffering you are willing to endure. Furthermore, your mindset also affects how you perceive events and then dictates how you react (or don’t react) to them; this has a compounding effect on your mindset and in turn your character.

There are two types of mindsets, a fixed mindset, and a growth mindset. I learned about these in the book Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential, authored by Dr. Carol Dweck.

fixed mindset is when someone believes that their intellect, traits, and skills are fixed. They believe they cannot be improved, and they endevour to always appear intelligent and to avoid appearing dumb. This mindset results in people only undertaking tasks where they are confident they will succeed and avoiding things where they may fail.

growth mindset is when someone believes that their traits, character, skills, and intellect are not fixed and that they can improve every aspect of themselves through effort and persistence (discipline).

If you approach a task with a fixed mindset, when you experience setbacks and failures (which you will) you will become demotivated and you will begin to believe that you cannot succeed. Your mind becomes populated with thoughts of not being good enough, negativity and despair. You perceive challenges, setbacks, and failures as confirmations of your fixed level of skill, intelligence, and character. This mindset produces exponentially mediocre results.

However, by approaching a task with a growth mindset, when you inevitably experience challenges, setbacks, and failures, you know that to succeed you must persist in the face of adversity…you must ‘lean in’. Adversity drives you forward as you understand that the path to mastery is a persistent effort…so you dig in and push harder. This is the mindset of top-formers in any discipline. Nothing was ever achieved by giving up.

You gotta decide, are you a Wolf or are you a sheep?

Embrace failure.

The boy raises his hand in response to the teacher’s question. The boy answers. Swiftly, the teacher responds “incorrect!”. Silence befalls the room. His peers snigger.

Children…(Dunning–Kruger effect).

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Why do you flee from incorrectness, as if it were fire? What properties does incorrectness possess that are undesirable or harmful?

Perhaps…”It is embarrassing to be wrong in the presence of peers, or those respected”.

This is a common objection to the willingness to experience failure in the eyes of those respected, or equal to. Failing to answer a question correctly during academia is assumed to attract contempt.

Those to think contemptuously of a person who tries and fails, possess a fixed mindset. Those who embody a fixed mindset believe that intelligence is fixed…it cannot be changed. This is false.

Were you born fluent in your native tongue? Were you always able to run, jump, and climb? Were you always this competent, able and analytical? Any persons answering yes to this question are not telling the truth.

Failure, to be wrong, begets improvement. Improvement begets a better life. A better life is something to strive towards. If you live a better life, you contribute more to your world.

To be better, IS TO FAIL. To fail IS TO IMPROVE. To improve IS TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE. To live a better life IS TO IMPROVE THE WORLD.

The children who think contemptuously of the boy who failed…self-righteous in their perspective. Those who possess a fixed mindset do not grow because they cannot be wrong.

To not grow is embarrassing. To refuse to strive towards a better life is wrong.

Embrace failure.

Running without training wheels.

Mother Theresa scoops a baby up; cut, bruised and bloodied. She gently nurses and cares for the baby. Slowly, gradually, Mother Theresa guides the baby. It learns to crawl, stand and walk. Eventually, the baby, who is no longer a baby, begins to place one foot in front of the other. Quickly too. The baby is free from support…running without training wheels.

I learned to run without training wheels; why art thou Mother Theresa, o’ gentle force of nature, have you not? Maleficent I’m scared of what you have become.

 

 

Patterns.

Life is all about patterns. It’s how we survive, past, present, and future (of which the existence is debated, however, a discussion for another day).

It is commonly thought that human patterns change little. You meet someone. You begin to learn their patterns. These patterns allow you to predict actions and reactions. The more time spent observing their patterns allows trust, and a bond to form. Fast forward to some degree, and at this point, the mental pattern prediction model is working effectively. You are intimate. You share things that make you vulnerable. You feel woven.

The years go by, and you continue to operate with the understanding that your pattern predictions are true; or true enough. Something happens. This event doesn’t fit into pattern prediction model. Chaos. Chaos is peering over the parapet of your awareness. Each misalignment between predicted pattern and the observed pattern is creating chaos within you. Is this pattern change good, or not so good? [And by who’s standards I may add].

 

Patterns change, and patterns are people. Names are just a label for a collection of patterns. The label I possess currently is the same as the one I was gifted at birth. My patterns are not. Patterns change. People change. Labels don’t…but maybe sometimes.

Sometimes you think you know someone.