My inspiration resides in a well. This well has no floor and within it resides an opulent liquid, dense with creative energy and overflowing with ideas. I cannot reach this well, it is always out of my reach; I cannot access my inspiration from atop this bottomless well.
I reach for sustenance only to stretch forth without triumph. Why can’t I drink from this well?
I float, completely immersed in creative thought, and in this liquid, my ideas flow easily and manifest on the page. Why can’t I reach my ideas from atop this well?
I yearn for the day I can reach for that opulent liquid whenever I desire, with this liquid, I will bring to life words that generate inspiration in masses.
The puppet dances at each whim of its master; unknowingly dominated. Wide-eyed the puppet gazes out into the world ignorant. He feels a feeling of safety, a feeling of ultimate fictitiousness…the strings make him feel like he belongs; wanted. None of it is real, his life is a scene in the master plan.
The puppet is free.
Scared, confused and disorientated the puppet steps into an unknown world. Walking without guidance, panic-stricken and unsure, the puppet makes his first step…another, and then another. He is walking without support, albeit shakily.
Time goes on and soon he is running. Sometimes he falls over, sometimes he stays down for long, but he pulls himself up. He pulls himself up by his strings, he is his own master.
When your supports are kicked out beneath you it’s an uncertain experience. Your entire life tilts into the unknown and you are afraid. You can do it, push on, pick yourself up and keep walking. You are no longer a puppet, you have value and you are the master of your world. You are free to create, produce and explore.
A world exists inside of me. In this realm exists euphoria, melancholy and enigmatic sensation. Enigmatic beings live here too, producers of the greatest creations and the most blissful sensations. However, these beings possess antithetical energy, an energy of which brings such ecstasy rapidly to baseline.
A world exists inside of me, this inner manifests the outer. Erratic, sporadic and impulsive, inconsistently consistent and resistant to my resistance. Controlling, overwhelming and paradoxically positive. Strange?
Although I am possessed by pure unrelenting turbulence I embrace it. This energy lights my fire and inspires with feelings of pure ecstasy to push onwards. This energy creates my greatest moments and allows me to become a source of inspiration for others. This is my calling.
Turbulent emotions are tough, but life is tougher. I will endure so that I can inspire others to create a better life.
I will endure.
Within each of us, an artist lives. Sometimes it takes a muse to awaken the artist that is hibernating within. My Muse is gone; Metamorphosed into a rogue angel. O’ sweet angel, please don’t go. I live in hope of another…light my fire again.
For some time now I’ve been feeling lost.
Lost like an asteroid rocketing through space.
Inertia but no direction.
Why do I feel this way? Let me explain…
Through my meditation practice, I have been able to take a step back from thoughts concerning my ego, albeit not all but many thoughts; That is to say thoughts referencing (I, me, my, and my name etc). I have also become exponentially more open to opposing views and information contrary to what I think, and I believe this is a result of identifying less with ideas, and whilst this sounds liberating and relaxing there is another side that I did not anticipate. Sounds confusing? It is a little, let me walk you through it. When a Human identifies with an idea, belief or perspective it becomes apart of their identity (e.g. ego) and this identification becomes a driving force for their actions and perceptions. When someone or something (e.g. contradictory information) challenges this idea, belief or perspective, the person raises their defences and rejects the idea (see: confirmation bias, cognitive dissonance). These negative responses prevent information from being absorbed and as a result, their views or beliefs remain unchanged.
You may be thinking “you’re more open to ideas…so what?” and if you are that’s a valid question. Well, through decreased identification with ideas and beliefs, that is to say, ideas are not becoming a part of my identity, they are orbiting me rather than entering my metaphorical atmosphere. This has resulted in me feeling like I do not hold convictions (apart from being a good person etc), and thus a felt loss of identity. This loss of conviction has made me feel like I do not have anything to strive towards and to dedicate my spare time to. Perhaps this could be called a partial ego death? Who knows.
Surprisingly I have large amounts of energy, motivation, will power and drive but no cause, belief, idea or purpose for which I can wholeheartedly apply these energies.
I am an asteroid rocketing through space…I wonder where I will end up next?